Browsing Category:

Blog

Blog

My Experience in the Israeli Rainbow Gathering

Well hello there Maniacs!
The preparations for the flight to Thailand are happening as we speak, but this weekend I took some time off to go to the Israeli Rainbow Gathering.
I was really hoping it’ll be an experience like the one’s I had in the Midburn community events, but it was completely different. the rainbow is a gathering of people for a whole month in some forest, who try to build a community on peace and love and shit. it’s a free event and you get food for free so it has a really nice anti consumerism aspect to it.
I took a few hitchhikers with me on Friday and the ride was very nice and the view was incredible. when we got closer to the gathering we went through my favorite grapes vineyards. I was really excited! We arrived at sundown and couldn’t see jack. but we still build our own independent tribe and built our tents together. afterwards we started hearing everyone shout “food circle now”. this is a call for the major social event that happens twice a day in the rainbow, where everyone gathers around the main fire and chant and sing and do hippie stuff before the food, and then everyone eats together in a bowl they bring themselves, and have a portion of food being poured like in Oliver twist movies.

as most of you guys know i eat Raw Till 4, so I came prepared with my own fruits and some quinoa and broccoli i precooked at home before heading out. so I had that, and a bit of bread my friend made from whole wheat. 
after dinner, as it was apparently full moon, the full moon celebrations started. basically it was a lot of hippies singing and jamming together around a huge fire. it was really nice. a lot of good vibes and shit, but i felt completely out of place.

the following day was great! i went with my friends for a nice walk in the woods, met a few nice people and got to talk to some hippies. I was supposed to get back on saturday night back home but I felt like I still haven’t opened up enough to the experience and got out of my shell, which usually takes me a few days. also I wanted to see how I handle the situation and being alone without the friends i came with and got to know through that time. so i decided to stay another day and see whats up.

my friends left at night and i knew a few people from other festivals but i was still pretty lonely, so i went to help in the kitchen. i met some nice dude and we went to pick some sugar cane next to a vineyard. I must say after trying to eat it, it is not food for humans. really inedible and it made me a bit nauseated as well, so i ultimately ended up having a panic attack in a vineyard in a place i don’t know with some dude i don’t know. he handled it very well, but i was still feeling crappy so i went to sleep back at my tent when we got back.
the day after, i woke up feeling fine but i was a bit sad. i felt lonely cause i wasn’t really opening up to the environment and i am certainly not a hippןe. i have  a huge resistance to new age stuff  and some people i spoke with had this thing that they made me feel like they were a bit condescending.
after wandering around and seeing that most of whoever’s left in the gathering were asleep i saw a group of people playing a game and i said to myself: “Henya, this is your chance to open up. Your’e all alone and you can just go, say hi, and sit with them”, and so I did. they were friendly and let me read a card as soon as i sat in the circle, but afterwards the very loud girl asked my if I’m not underage or something.

Now this got me a bit worked up, cause I know i look young and everything from being vegan and
fruitarian a long time, but It is non of your interest how old I am. I didn’t feel the need to answer her saying I’m actually 26, probably older than she was, but the fact that they give a shit about ages in such a place is a bit silly in my opinion. but than again, most of the “hippies” there weren’t even vegan or vegetarian so I don’t know why I’m getting all worked up over this.
Seriously, all those people claiming to be spiritual and hippie shit is just ridiculous if they are eating dead food. talking about peace and taking part in most cruel industry ever created that terrorizes billion of innocent beings is absurd. i had conversation with the carnists hippies many times, and every time i get so mad. even the one’s that are vegan are saying all the time that we shouldn’t bother other people with what their eating, but I wonder how calm and shanti they’d be if it were their sister lying on someone else’s plate. it’s noteworthy that the rainbow gathering’s food is strictly vegan.
anyway, after she asked about my age in such a condescending and disgusting way I went to have some dates and pears in my tent, and I got to a point where i felt like i needed to get the fuck out from this place asap. i picked up all my shit and then a new friend, Kiki, came to see if I was heading out and i went with him, and a few more hitchhikers back to civilization.
on the way I could help myself from stopping to pick some grapes from the vineyards all over us, and I got myself a really nice box of my almost favorite grapes – crimson red. as it is “Shmita” here in Israel, a year in which we don’t cultivate or pick fruits commercially just so the land could have some time to regenerate itself, the vines were packed with ripe sweet and beautiful grapes just waiting for me to binge on 🙂 seriously, meeting Kiki and picking grapes were actually the highlights of my rainbow experience, but i was happy to spend some time in nature and with friends, and its absolutely great to try something out and just see that’s its not for you, so you don’t have to wonder what would it be like if you went and tried it out.
to conclude, I really don’t have anything against the rainbow, I had a nice time, but i didn’t really connect to the atmosphere there and I preffer Midburn and Burning man events much better. It’s not allowed to take pictures there because no electricity is allowed, but I took the liberty to shoot some pics anyway 🙂
Peace,
Henya
the rainbow gathering in israel 2014
my tent and fruits. I had another box of cherrimoyas, pears and kiwis inside the tent. no need to give up on a fruitarian RT4 or fully raw lifestyle when camping.
the vineyard
hippies in the picking!
doesn’t seem like much but my guess is that there’s 20kg worth of grapes here

me and Kiki 🙂
Blog

Asian Studies BA Degree? Sayounara!

Hey Maniacs!!!
I am super excited to tell you guys that above all odds, I made
it! I finished 3 years of university!
I went earlier to hand out my last 2 big ass papers, and that is
it! 3 years of a lot of mixed emotions have come to an end.

It was a little nostalgic walking around university and thinking
about how I was when I first started my studies. Gosh, I was so god
damn different. I was trying so hard to conform, to let go of the
“crazy” image I had about myself, and I was very excited to start
a new thing. I even remember trying to hide most of my tattoos and
get rid of a few piercings. Heck, I was “studying” normal people
on the post office, on the streets, and tried to imitate them, what
they wore, how they acted, their tiny necklaces and ballet flats…

From the beginning I wasn’t going there to get a degree, I was
all about learning Japanese, and maybe at the end of uni get a
scholarship to japan, but that was the end of my hopes, as I was just
healing from a long battle with eating disorders and severe
depression. I couldn’t imagine I would become what I am today!
Never would I imagine I’d have a blog, a youtube channel,
friends who love me and I love them, and such a different attitude
towards life.

At the beginning of my second year, I got so distracted
by the need to create, I was really absorbed in my videos and I
didn’t want to go on with my studies, but I was too scared to quit
cause I feared I might fall back into severe depression and kill
myself.
I had the same dilemma as I started the third year… I even made an “I quit University” video back then.
 Looking back, I don’t know if I should have quit or not, but
considering the last to years of school were absolute hell, I am very
proud of myself for sticking to the end.

           

To tell you the truth I wasn’t sure I was going to make it until
a few days ago, where I had the majority of my paper written. I
didn’t know whether I’d have the ability to force myself doing
something I hate for so long, and it did take its toll on me.

Since last October, I became more depressed than I was in the last
few years, and stopped uploading videos frequently. Heck, I probably
uploaded 4 videos this last year. I just didn’t have it in me. Part
of it was due to when I was in Berlin last year. I was so busy with
living life rather than filming them, that a part of vlogging seemed
pathetic to me. I also started thinking, why would people wanna see
my videos? I am cute, funny and enjoyable, but I don’t really give
an added value to give nor do I have a niche that people can relate to.
Besides, I was always a bit embarrassed to vlog in public, and
talking to a camera in your own room does seem a bit weird when you’re
not doing it frequently. There is also the language barrier. Obviously
English is not my native language, and even though I can write OK, I
pronounce myself much better in Hebrew than in English, and its pretty
difficult for me to vlog in English fluently.

I do have some of these thought in my head now, when I actually do
plan on going back to vlogging and blogging regularly, I am pretty
spooked out and I’m not really sure what should I do. Especially now
that I have so many new interests I’d be happy to talk about and that
I am leaving Israel to go travel Thailand.

BTW, brace yourselves, cause I have a ONE WAY TICKET to Thailand
on the 24th of November!!!

I am even more spooked out about this whole thing. I am actually
leaving everything I know to go and explorer a new place and a
totally new lifestyle. Remember that on my Midburn post I told you
guys I want to create a life for myself that I wouldn’t be
depressed to come back to after a festival? So this is me following
that plan.

I sold a heck of a lot of the shit I owned, but I’m gonna use these
next 2 months to sell all the rest and get ready and say goodbye to
the people I love, and get back to a bit of vlogging and I would like
to write a raw till 4 recipe ebook, or at least take the pictures as
I still have a good camera and computer before getting rid of them.

I can’t wait to start backpacking with only a few essentials and
start exploring the real things in life, not what a bunch of bozos
write in their academic books and not working for a bunch of bozos
who get all the profit from the work that I do, and live in the race
of purchasing shit I don’t need.

Well, a pretty exciting period is in front of me, I’ll try to
keep you guys posted 🙂

Peace
Henya

Blog

Minimalist Traveling In Israel

Well
hello there Maniacs!
It’s
about the time I’m almost done with my exams and I have more free
time to do my thing, so I though I might as well use it wisely and
take a few days to go up to northern Israel and see our beautiful
country…
I
just came back from 3 days in Golan heights, followed by another
unplanned 1 day in tlv and 3 days in dor beach. I wanted to go as
minimalistic as I can, to see how I manage and as a small
preparation to my trip to Thailand and other frutilicious tropical
heavenly countries 🙂
Since
I heard the term minimalism, I got hooked on the idea. I started
getting rid of shit clothes I was hoarding for years and other
things, but I kept on buying more shit I didnt need nor use, and I
still had immense amounts of clutter all over my house, car and life.
In the last few months I started to really take my minimalist journey
to the next level and really get rid of things I didnt need. I sold
so many things and even had a “garage” roof sale with my friends.
I will write about it in the future, so stay tuned if you’re
interested. Anyway, I decluttered my house quite a bit, and really
started to take into consideration what I need in life and I would
definitely want to experiment with that when I go traveling in asia
in the next months. I though I would see how it goes in the trip to
the north as well.
Whats
in my bag?
1
long leggings
1vegan
shorts
2
tanks
4
pairs of undies
1
long hoodie [should’ve brought something warmer]
flip
flops
minimalistic
running shoes for hiking
phone
charger
credit
card, Bus card and id
some
cash [but no wallet! So proud of myself cause I usually go about with
a big ass wallet]
key
[only the one to my house]
mp3
player
ear
plugs
toothbrush
baking
soda [to use as shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. Didn’t use it
once!]
box
of dates and 2.5 kg of peaches.
1.5
liter water bottle
Well,
at the first few days I didn’t really mind not changing clothes,
and I even washed 1 pair of panties in the shower, but I had worn one
tank in a hike an as I was gathering prickly pear or whatever name
your country calls this exquisite fruit, I had all the spikes fly
with the wind straight to my face, neck and shirt. So I wasn’t
wearing it ever since and didn’t even think of washing it with all
the spikes stinging me on the way 😐 so turns out I wore the other
tank for a long time and I got really tired of it when I came back o
tlv and was about to head out to dor beach. I almost borrowed a
friends shirt but at the end I gave up cause I already have too many
things and I just starting to give a fuck.
Seriously,
when I was out and about, having fun, out in nature and with friends,
I really couldn’t care less how I looked. At the beach I wore just
a sports bra and panties, and some of the time I was topless, and I
was just fine. People didn’t even notice I wasnt wearing a “proper”
bathing suite, and if they did? I don’t care. I’m not here to
entertain anyone or to look good for someone else.
But
enough about material objects. I had a really good time all in all. I
was really surprised that the north was this big and beautiful, and
had so much nature going around! Just driving through the area you’d
see fig trees and prickly pears, and the occasional spring here and
there..
but
besides that, it was a good experience for me to trust the world and
the people and nature in general, to provide me with food, and a
place to sleep. Though it didn’t really help with saving the battery
in my phone…
I
have to admit I was a little scared before going, as I didnt know if
I took enough things, and I was especially worried about the food. I
didn’t know where I could get good fruits [as I am doing the raw till
4 lifestyle now], and because the fruit quality these days is so low
and not satisfying, and I’m used to knowing what I’m eating and where
I’m buying it and how ripe it is. But up north, I managed quite good.

As
I got there we went to a supermarket to but some food. The fruit was
as expected inedible, so I bought pasta and some pasteurized orange
juice. The day after we went to an apple plantation, and picked some
nice apples. There was also a plum, grapes and nectarines plantation
so I picked some more 🙂 after that we went for a hike in Gilabon
wadi, where we saw some more food, and after that we found a big ass
fig tree I took the liberty to strip down of edible fruits 🙂

The
day after I wasn’t feeling all too well, I was really tired and
exhausted, and I rested the whole day. When it was evening I started
getting bored and wanted to do something, but I also started feeling
choked and cramped up in a far out location and I really wanted to
get the hell out. I was staying at a place with only 2 buses a day,
and within seconds I made up my mind to pack my shit, get out and
look for a bus station, when the bust was about to arrive In ten
minutes. Sounds silly and impulsive, but that simple act really
helped me feel in control and gain back my self confidence.
Sadly,
or not sadly but very tiring, it took me about 6 hours to get to tel
aviv, when I was headed for jerusalem. I missed the last bus and I
was starving by the time I got to tel aviv. That’s the problem with
this lifestyle, when you are undercarbed, you start being miserable.
I was thinking about food the whole way back! I bought some stir
fried rice with no oil and salt in tlv and stayed at a friends house.
It is pretty amazing eh? That you could just hop from one place to
another, and get by so easily in this world. It was really great to
let go of my frick-controlish-part for a bit, and just rely on things
to be ok.

After
I stayed the night in tlv I was supposed to go back to jlm and pack
my bathing suit, get more fruits, a sleeping bag, change my stinkin’
clothes and go back to tlv and head out to Dor beach from there, but
then I was like… do I really need all this hassle just for a
stinking bathing suite? Change of clothes? I can just borrow a
sleeping bag from a friend and but fruits anywhere! And I wouldn’t
need to carry them all the way from jlm.. besides, if I really wanted
to, I could just buy a new swim suite and it would cost me less time
and money than going back and forth.. that really put things into
perspective. I had a great time in tlv with Ggali my eternal love!
And I also arranged to meet a fellow rawtill4-er, Ginat the fruitbat!
After
this hot and amazing day in tlv, I went with Ron, a friend I met over
at Midburn, to dor beach for a big ass camping thing his friends
family organizes every year! It was really amazing to camp out on the
beach and chill and do nothing. We arrived at night, and I was soooo
tired already, we stayed for a bit in the bonfire and then I went to
sleep. The day after I was just chilling, eating fruits, tanning
topless, hooping, and on the next day, I did much of the same but
started to get to know the people around me better, and feel more
comfortable. I also took a long walk on the beach hoping to find new adventures, and even though I didn’t meet lots of interesting new people, I did get to a nice little camp that played music and I did my own party on the rocks and danced myself away with the waves..
I
guess there’s no way around it. It takes me a while to feel
comfortable around people and I do get a bit anxious in social
situations. That’s why I prefer to be by myself and fend for myself
whenever necessary. I’m afraid of being judged in a certain way and
I try to read the atmosphere a bit before I open up .I probably come
up as a shy and quiet person or maybe even an antisocial lone wolf
sometimes. I have it a lot easier on one-on-ones.
I
was even more worried about the food before we went to the beach. I
didnt have a clue what food they’re going to have over there, if
they’d have any fruits, but since I was already relying on the world
for a few days already, I just let it be. Right before we took off I
bought some grapes and nectarines, baby corn and dates, and I did
finish up all my food before we headed back home, so I ended up
eating some bread with tahini. After I got home I was still out of
food so I had some rice cakes with tahini and a few veggies. I felt
ok when having it, but this morning I woke up with a fever and with
pain all over my body. It could be the food but I have a feeling it’s
that massive sunburn I got that’s fucking me up.
I’m
happy I got out of my comfort zone and started to experience new
things, and I’m grateful not to have my studies in the way all the
time. Can’t wait to be really over with it.
This
little trip really got me interested in living in a moshav or kibbutz
for a bit, and I made up my mind to go on a gathering trip again next
week, where you walk around in a group for 5 days an eat only what
you forage. I was at a foraging trip a few months back, but I feel
like this time I could have a better experience.

To
sum it up, I had a blast. But it is good to be home, take a nice NOT
hot shower for my aching skin, and have a change of clothes.
Blog

MIDBURN 2014

Hey
Maniacs! 
I
just came back from an AMAZING experience in every way possible. I
spent 5 days in the Negev desert in the Midburn festival – the
Israeli Burning Man. I don’t quite know how to even start
expressing what I’ve been through, but I just can’t sleep and can’t
get the playa out of my head.

At
the first day I was so anxious to get there, I was driving and
picking up some people who were supposed to come, and I had to carry
so much shit with me, cause I’m doing the raw till 4 diet now [more on that on a different post]. I
brought 5 kilos of dates, 4 watermelons, ton of bananas, veggies and
stuff to cook for my cooked dinner. I brought other fruits bet they went
bad so fast and filled my car with such a stench!
So anyway, I
came to the playa by myself. No friends, no camp, no nothing. Radical
self reliance in its best. At first it was because non of my friends
wanted to come, but in the end I wanted to go alone and put myself
out there, outside my comfort zone, even though in some ways being
alone is exactly my comfort spot.

Iv’e been to other
festivals in which I brought food to cook and bread and peanut butter
and all those festival foods, and I have to say that preparing the
fruit and eating it was so much easier and funner than eating a
peanut butter sandwich with canned corn and half raw pasta. Moreover,
it was so satisfying and filling, gave me a TON of energy to dance
and walk around, and saved me so much time. When everyone else were
cooking in their camps, I would eat half a watermelon and go dance
right after without being too heavy to need to friggin rest. Besides,
fruits have so much water content, I didn’t get dehydrated once! In
comparison to a cooked lunch you eat in the heat, that takes water
from your body to digest and doesn’t add its own water. So no wander
people need rest after such a meal, and a lot more water.

I picked up a few hitchhikers from jerusalem, one of them is Shawn Saleme, who writes also for the Visual News blog! Such a chilled and down to earth person, very happy I met him. I put up my tent with the hitchhikers at our own camp, and went out to explorer.

Me, Shawn, and the hitchhikers. the car was packed!!!

The playa was
unbelievable. The art installations were incredible. The man, which
was a man and woman installation combined, was very impressive, but my favorite was grampa.
So beautiful and well build, just look at the pictures. The person
who made the installation was as expected – very nice and friendly.
I couldn’t find more about him online though. He was excited to
burn it, but in the end granny stayed foot, probably had a change of
heart. Anyway his name is Faluja. If you find anything bout him let
me know!

Me and Faluja wth grandpa in the back

On
Friday the atmosphere in the playa was very special to me. To sun was
going down, and the desert lit up with such beautiful colors… it
really felt like the end of the festival. Me and some new
friend were sitting and looking at the sunset and I came down in
tears. I felt like something inside of me died. A feeling that was
immensely increased when the man was burned. As the sun went right
behind those desert mountains and the darkness started creeping, I
made up my mind to create a life for myself that I wouldn’t be sad
to come back to after a festival.

The sunset on friday

Now
that’s a very controversial thing for me to say, because I’m so used
to just surviving, that being happy sometimes sounds like bad word to me.
I always had some disrespect towards those who are happy, or at least
claim to be. They look so naive, or simple minded, even stupid to me.
They live in denial, believe in god, release all responsibilities
from them, and mainly, haven’t had a life even close to what shit
I’ve been through. I’m so used to life being this shit load of crap
just piling on top of other crap layers that hadn’t composted yet.
Shit on top of shit on top of shit. But life on the playa felt so
damn good. Chillin at day, or
dancing, eating fuck loads of fresh fruit, talking to people, dress
up in funny costumes, enjoying nature and the desert, I mean, life
definitely looked like this once. No money, gifting, community life,
fuck I wanna go back.

After they burned the temple, I was a friggin mess. It was
sunrise, complete silence on the playa, such a huge difference
between burning the man and the temple. I wasn’t as sad as I was when
burning the man but it wore me down and eventually I found myself
walking around camps, just wishing I could meet anyone to keep me company.
I felt such an urge and it was terrifying, to think that I NEED someone,
and not just rely on myself, but I guess that’s the difference
between surviving and living, eh?
I went to some camp and this wonderful guy immediately gave me such a warm hug. I asked if I could crash on the couch, cause I couldn’t just
start a conversation. I was crashing on the couch, and this other guy
from the camp brought another couch so I would have room for my feet.
I know it wasn’t something special for him, but I was so fucking
grateful for him and for what he did, I started crying non stop for
hours.

The temple and the man

Why? Why would anyone help me? Moreover, why don’t they hurt me?
I’m so accustomed to people who talk shit to me, take advantage of
me, use me and hurt me, and this guy helps me out with such a small
and unnoticeable gesture? I was dumbfounded.

I wanted to come up to him and hug him and thank him and I don’t
know what, but I wasn’t able to. I just couldn’t. [so for the super slim chance your’e reading this – I FUCKING LOVE YOU MAN!]

I’m still digesting and trying to comprehend this whole thing, and
the burning man experience in general, but no doubt, this burn was a
thing ill never forget. After crying my eyes out, I went to the granny installation for a bit, just to have some time with this awesome peice of art. as I was appreciating that glorious installation thing, I got this incredible urge to built and create things, to make something of my own, to just do. I just hope I won’t lose this energy to the mundane life I’m living right now..

grandpa♥

Well, to sum it up, I met and befriended so many awesome people! I
still have my social skills apparently 🙂 I danced so much, so long,
so happily, dressed or fucking topless, with shoes or barefoot on
the boiling desert sand. I even got blisters from the hot sand, and I
got a bad sunburn. I’m so happy. And sad. Fuck. Look at the pictures
already, would ya?!

The playa

DUST, see it, breat it, eat it, drink it, dust every-fucking-where

The whale being constructed
all finished 🙂
Friday sunset and the man
the man at night
Burning the temple
And we’re gonna let it burn
Awesome people!

Craig and me
The man turning to a pile of ash
You got BURNED
Skeleton
The temple

Blog

I’m Back!

Hey Maniacs 🙂

I know I’ve been gone a long while…but I have my reasons!
I’m hoping to get back on track and post more here and definitely make more videos on my YT channel.
Basically, I wasn’t feeling the need to share here anymore. Besides, this whole blog started as a mean to promote my YT channel, which is what I want to be my ultimate income source from advertisements. I have shared really intimate things about myself only a few times, and even though it was very empowering, I was worried that people I know would get more info about me, and we all know knowledge is power. I just didn’t want to be vulnerable. 
But at this period in my life I feel much more safe to walk about in this world and I’m not afraid to share my true feelings, at least here on my blog. I even feel the need to, especially now, that I have deleted my Facebook account. on my account deletion, i plan to make a whole video talking about it, so wait for it 🙂 
So In about two months, I’ll be finishing my BA degree! well, at least I won’t have to go to classes anymore, I’ll then have to take exam and write papers for a long while 🙁
I can’t believe it’s gonna be all over soon! I mean, who knows where I’ll be next year?
But then again, it’s a wonderful opportunity to make changes and do different things! it’s not a secret I was suffering every minute of these studies, and I have no intention whatsoever to work in something related to my field [east Asian studies]. I could look at it as a waste of time, but I choose to see it as something that I completed from start to end, overcoming a challenge, and a mean to enrich myself. 
In the end, without my resolution to go to the university a few years ago, I don’t know how I would have gotten out of the crisis I was in at the time. I made some great friends and learned a lot about myself.
Anyhow, I have a deadline to all the papers, as i’m going to trek the Israel Trail in September 🙂
Surprised? Me too. It all started on the day I deleted my facebook and broke up with my ex boyfriend. 
I was walking on the way to class, and saw a discounted book fare on the way. You know those books who just *call out* to you? this one was Wild by Cheryl Strayed. It’s a story about a woman who decided to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, after getting a divorce and having her life all messed up. 
The funny thing is, two days before I got the book, I was walking on a trail [not something I EVER do!] quite close to my parents house, that the Israel Trail was going next to. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but I noticed it has a different color. 9 years before that, I heard about the trail for the first time when I was in sorting for the army [I didn’t enlist in the end]. a vegan friend there told me she knows someone who’s doing it, and I remember thinking “that’s crazy! and awesome! but absolutely not for me”. but for those of you who know about my Freud crush, know that I truly believe our subconscious is dynamic, and things that go dwell there, don’t just sit idle, and they influence us in different ways. So while reading the book, I was like “omg. I’m going to a journey on the Israel national trail”.
But the trail is only two months, three tops! what will I do later? I don’t wanna go back to my ordinary boring life…heck, I don’t even wanna live such a life! A life where you get up in the morning, go to a job you don’t like so you could buy things you don’t need. Fuck it! I’ve been in a minimalism journey for almost a year now! I don’t need to work to but things cause I don’t need things! I don’t want to have a limitless amount of useless objects that ground me to a certain place and deny me my movement freedom! I mean after all, experiences are worth more than objects right?
So I don’t know how, this got me thinking I need to go travel the world.
That’s settled. I’ll be off to Thailand in November 🙂
I’ll be posting more in my blog so be sure to check it out! I even sorted out my RSS feed, so you can sub and get notified whenever I have something new up.
Peace
Henya
Blog

Snowy Timez!

Yes! Winter is finally here in Israel, and with it – SNOW!
This year I went a little overboard with excitement… here are the results.

Blog

On Being Sick

Let’s be honest, nobody likes to be sick. Your nose is running, your’e nausious, stomach hurts, throat sore, head pounding and what not.
I myself as a major hypochonder, germophobic and generaly scared of being sick, HATE those times when i start feeling low and even worse, coming down with something.

But I have to admit it, being sick is an amazing time. First of all, it always happens when your pushing yourself too hard, or having a mental breakdown, or in a point in life you just can’t go on as you are. That’s what so amazing about the human body. He gives a fuck about you, and when he doesn’t like the way he’s being treated, he shuts down and demands your attention. 

Right now I’m recovering from an evil cold I got last week, and getting sick was a huge wake up call for me.
Not that I didn’t know I was feeling like shit, but I was doing everything I could to get away from it. Clubbing almost everyday, not sleeping, not eating as good, and just running away from any alone time I might have. And to be frank? Getting that cold was a true blessing.
Finally I got some quality time with myself, I got to rest more than I could handle, and it really made an impact on me. I feel so much better now, having dealt with myself and seing that the monster is not so bad. I even made some new resolutions for myself such as taking better care of myself.. sleeping more, eating better, start what Ive been wanting to do forever now – Parkour! And of course, letting go of the past, try to get over my fears and move on to greater things.

Definitely happy I got this cold and was forced to slow down a bit.
What are your thoughts about being sick? Do you also use that time for new resolutions?
Let me know in the comments.
Love,
Henya
Blog

Birthday Crisis.

Hey guys..
I thought about maybe clearing some things out cause I haven’t been uploading anything for a while now…
I’ve been very busy with everything and my mood hasn’t been the best in the last couple of months. Lately I really lack motivation to do pretty much anything. That’s why I haven’t really filmed something new and keeping up with my schedule.

I think the first problem is university. this is my final year, and iv’e been thinking about quitting for two years now. I just hate studying and nothing in it interests me anymore. which is a big shame cause i used to have so much motivation for this degree but the subject doesn’t interest me since I started taking my vlog more seriously. I actually regret not leaving at the start of my second year, or going to study something more artsy in a different college, but now I’m staying cause I never really finished anything I started and I want my degree to be that thing I get to complete by myself. besides I think being able to stay at a place youre not feeling good in is a quality I lack and i need to learn. cause it really is a problem! I quit everything and I don’t do anything I don’t like.

Another thing that keeps me down lately is the feeling of loneliness I get pretty strong these days, I just feel really disconnected from other people in my life, and like im so different from everybody, and people always say this to me, like im so unique and weird and blah blah, and its nice to hear sometimes but in general its not the best feeling to be an outsider. especially in classes i get this feeling when I see other people so soaked in the material and it just seems so unreal to me that they care about this, it even pisses me off.
And besides that, me and my ex boyfriend broke up long ago and since than I didn’t find anyone that interest me enough to enter a relationship with and worthy enough to share my life with. and i miss being with someone. watching a movie in bed, cooking together, I don’t know, I just miss it.

That and the fact that last week was my 25 birthday, I was overwhelmed with depression. I was retrospecting on my life and thinking about all the shit that iv’e been through, crying my eyes out and wanting to shout my lungs out of my body from all the pain I felt all together. yesterday too, I had a panic attack out of nowhere, clearly somethings wrong with me.
I keep on going to classes and I do what I can to not stay at home depressed, I even started going to the gym, but as soon as I get home at night I start feeling really bad and that feeling leads me pretty fast to crying myself to sleep.
I have a ton of projects that are stuck in the middle, 2 awesome songs im working on and an insane vegan project, but I don’t have the energy to pull it off right now.

So that’s what I wanted so say and I wanted you guys to know why iv’e been absent.
hope to see you in better times…

Peace,
Henya

Blog

My First Halloween!!!

TRICK OR TREAT?

I’ll take both thank you 🙂

As most of you already know, I live in Israel. Sadly we don’t celebrate this AWESOME Holiday here.

We celebrate Purim, a Jewish holiday in which we dress in costumes and getting really wasted is a blessing. But Henya Mania doesn’t settle for less and I’ll take both holidays why thank you for asking 🙂
This year I decided on making my own Halloween party at my place one week before, and go out to all the parties at Halloween itself, that way I can dress in different costumes, and get to decorate my house and make creepy Halloween vegan food!
I was a sugar skull thingy [what is that? can someone please explain this to me in the comments?] and my friend Bat-Chen the makeup artist did my AWESOME makeup, and Alina took my photos. Thanks LOVES!

The rest om the pics are in my fb 🙂
All in all we had an awesome house party! but now I have to think of my next costume! any ideas?
What’s your costume for Halloween this year? Let me know in the comments!
Have a happy and creepy Halloween little Maniacs! ♥
Blog

VEGAN Black Metal Chef T-shirt Just In!

   

Wudup Maniacs??
Look at what just arrived in my mail! My new Vegan Black Metal Chef t-shirt!!!!
I’m a huge fan and I’m totally psyched! had to share it with you guys 🙂

If you don’t know who I’m talking about, run along with shame to watch what you’ve missed in the last years! VBMC makes delicious vegan recipe videos with all the instructions in black metal growls and original music all done by THE Vegan Black Metal Chef and with a touch of SEITAN 🙂 You should definitely subscribe to his channel to watch more of his AWESOME videos, and if you want a shirt like mine, here’s how you get one.
http://www.merchlackey.com/veganblackmetalchef/